Keeping Yourself and Others Safe

If you are a victim of domestic abuse, you may be worried about your safety or you may be thinking about ways to improve it. We have prepared a list of suggestions that may be helpful to you. You are the expert in your own personal circumstances, so use your knowledge and choose advice relevant to your situation to build a personalised plan.

The plan is not a guarantee of safety, but it can significantly improve your safety and your reactions to danger.

If you or your children are in immediate danger, call the police on 999

If you need help, but cannot speak, use silent help – call 999 and press 55 and the operator will respond.

If you are not in immediate danger, call our 24-hour helpline now for safety advice and support – 03301 025 811 or email referrals@saferplaces.co.uk

To increase your safety at home you can:

Call 999 in the event of an emergency
Plan and practice an escape route from every room in your home
Think of a safe area in your home to go if you are in danger – ideally a room with a lock. Stay away from rooms with no exits, hard surfaces, or where there are objects which can be used as weapons e.g. the kitchen or bathroom
If possible, try to get any potential weapons out of the house
Make sure that all windows and doors are as secure as possible
Change locks on doors and windows
Have additional security installed e.g., sensor security lighting/alarms/ CCTV
Plan where you might go if you need to leave your home suddenly - is there a neighbour or do you have friends or family close by? Let your children and any other dependents know where to go if they need to leave the home
Find out where the nearest phone is that you can use
If you have a mobile phone, keep it always charged and with you

Make a list of safe people to contact. If possible, memorise important phone numbers, including your local domestic abuse service so that if the abuser takes your phone, you still have numbers to call for help and support
If you feel able to, speak to a trusted neighbour about your situation – give them permission to call the police if they see or hear something that concerns them e.g., a disturbance
Create a ‘code word’ or ‘sign’ to use with friends, family, neighbours, professionals you are working with to let them know you are in danger and to ask for help without alerting the abuser
Try to always keep some money with you so you can use public transport / get a taxi if you need to
If you suffer injuries, try to access a GP / hospital as soon as possible. If you are unable to leave your home, you can call 111

You may also be able to do some of the following:

Keep a record of the abusive behaviour to support any future action you may choose to take; this could be a diary, a list, or photos of injuries / criminal damage etc
If you want to, you can log incidents with the police, even if you do not want to press charges at present
Protect your online security as you collect information and prepare. Use a computer at a public library to download information or use a friend’s computer or mobile phone. The abuser might be able to track your planning otherwise
Consider getting some legal advice to discuss what options are available to you

To increase your children’s safety, you can:

Make sure children or any other dependents know to call 999 if there is an emergency and what information they would need to give (their full name, address, and telephone number)
Help children identify the safest place in and outside your home – places they can go/hide in case of an emergency
Teach your children to never interfere when adults are arguing/fighting etc. If they want to help you, they can call the police
Talk to your children about other trusted adults – help them identify safe and trusted adults in their lives and teach children how to contact them

If the abuser does not live with you / no longer lives with you, you should consider:

Changing your phone number, and ask for your calls to be screened when at work
Changing routines e.g. shop in different places at different times, and take different routes home etc
Informing trusted friends, relatives, neighbours that you no longer live / are in a relationship, and they should call the police if they see the abuser near or trying to gain access to your home
Informing people who look after your children e.g. teachers, which people have permission to collect them. If you have an injunction, give a copy to the school
Changing the routes, you use to take your children to school

If you want to leave your home:

Making the decision to leave your home is not easy – it can often be a dangerous time so planning how and when you leave can help increase your safety. You may not feel able to leave immediately, but you can be prepared and plan for what you would do if an emergency arose, and you need to leave your home. You can:

Have a bag packed with some essentials so you can leave in a hurry (things for you, your children, and any other dependents – clothes, nappies, baby milk etc.). Consider leaving a bag with a trusted friend or relative containing the items you would need if you had to leave urgently
Keep important documents (e.g., marriage/ birth certificates, passport, driving licence, legal documents e.g., injunctions, divorce papers, immigration papers, housing documents e.g., mortgage/tenancy paperwork, financial records e.g., bank statements), money and bank cards, keys, medication and medical records and items of sentimental value to you and your children in a safe place so that they can be quickly and easily accessed, e.g., in your emergency bag
Try to take with you any evidence of the abuse. This might include diaries, threatening notes, copies of police and medical reports, pictures of your injuries or damage to your property
Only tell people you trust where you will be and if you need to lie to protect yourself and others then do so
Turn the location off on your phone and be aware of location settings on social media apps, e.g., Snapchat’s ‘ghost mode’
Change passwords to email account etc
Always try to take your children and any other dependents with you or make arrangements to leave them somewhere safe and in the care of someone you trust

Make plans for pets if you are unable to take them with you
Try not to use a phone the abuser has access to (e.g., landline) but if you do and the last number you called was a domestic abuse service, refuge, taxi or the place you are going to stay; dial another number to cover your tracks, e.g., the speaking clock (dial 123)

Most importantly, you are not alone. We can help you at any stage of your journey to safety and freedom.

Everyone has the right to live a life free from fear and abuse.

If you're experiencing domestic abuse or are worried about a loved one, please get in touch.