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Spoken Words

Unnamed

She is so strong even if she does not know it!

A woman is strong enough even when she thinks she isn’t,

She feels happy to see everyone smile,

 

You know that you can do things, make it happen and know that you can,

Everything will work out according to the plan,

You have that strength of character in life,

 

You have the will to face it all,

In life every day is a test,

You have the confidence to face the world.

 


The slap

The connection is unmistakable 

The feeling of the air pressure driving through to your cheek

The sting

The disbelief 

The redness 

The soreness 

The dread 

Being startled

Not being aware

The red mist

Never again they said 

The apology for making them angry

The fear for the next one

Silence 



Love on the Dark Side

I loved you from the start

But manipulation was your art

I gave you every part of me

You made me believe we were meant to be

And gradually become too blind to see

You were slowly destroying me

The occasional kindness is where it starts messing with your head

Like the vicious words are somehow left unsaid

And it must be love cos he did one thing

Despite everything else he did leaving a sting

This is the sad thing with abuse

Once you have served your use

Your chucked away

But still you beg them to stay

 

Confusion is your false illusion of a man you want to believe

The one who promised he’d never leave

Yet your left in a corner too numb to cry

Lost in your own thoughts just wondering why

Someone who should love you

Can break you in two

Then mock you for not being the person they once knew

 

Even when the narcissist they turn out to be

Made me lose my own identity

Then one day he left, this time was for good

It clicked two girls were watching me

Who were my priority

I couldn’t let them see another man destroy me

 

When you move on that’s when the struggle begins

They want to punish you for all of your sisns

I hit some big lows and started to doubt

There was anyone out there who could help me out

Then a group called Triple R came

A blessing in disguise

I don’t know where I’d be if it wasn’t for these guys

 

Healing is a process that does take some time

To realise I’m not to blame

And it’s ok to not be fine,

But I’m finally starting to see it’s him and not me

And no matter who I tried to be he could never love me


My love 

I hope my love you will change one day

You will see the errors in your ways 

I hope my love that you won’t hurt another like you did to me

My love you were so brutal

All I did was love you and you took that love and took away it’s soul 

My love I hope you have got clean

And I hope you do actually want to change

The kindest thing I did was to leave you 

Because your soul was so tainted I could not help

My love. 

I didn’t see you as my love I saw you at the boss of my identity 

Because that was what you were 

My love I’m gutted to admit you knew what you were doing 

I spent so many years believing you didn’t and that was why

My love you shall never be my love again 

As I foresaw my fate

I nearly shook hands with the grim reaper trying to be yours 

That was my life ahead. Going out in a box because of those hands of yours 

My love I no longer loved you because your fear you ignited within my soul burned away

I could have stayed longer if you hadn’t chosen to touch me

I wish I could have stayed ignorant for longer, believed our futures were aligned and never had ended up where I am now. 

My love. My eyes became open to your brutal ways and I was no longer dreaming about a happy future 

As I lived in a nightmare daily

My love. I wish this was all a delusion. I wish I could be with the man I thought you were 

And not have become a victim. 

My love. I realised I couldn’t be her anymore. 

My love you’ll never be him for me. You knew your ways and you enjoyed your forms of torture over me. You thrived through my miserable existence and you took who I was 

My love. I shall survive what you did and I shall bloom into that lady I was always meant to be. 

My love. You shall not define me. One day maybe you’ll be good. Maybe you’ll really love someone and not what they can just offer. 

Good bye my love. Good bye to who I dreamed you were. Goodbye to the rain. Goodbye to prison and most importantly goodbye to you, my love.